You Are Warned!

We occasionally check on our human family and Misty on Earth, and overall, they are doing fine. Dad has put up a big fence to keep the deer out of his vegetable garden, so Misty has hardly any varmint control to do. Mom’s flowers are also safe from chlorophyll chompers. She and Misty takes lots of walks in the nicely kept neighborhood.

But Zorro is never happy. He is getting increasingly agitated about a particular property where a large brown Poodle called Curly, lives. The humans at the property put out food and water to the varmints. Foxes, deer, feral cats, racoons, squirrels, you name it, every type of varmint is hanging out in their garden and the big irritation is that Curly is doing nothing about it!

“Curly’s house is lowering the standard of the neighborhood,” said Zorro, “we have to protect our Earth family and act. Their property value can go down and varmints spread diseases and overbreed. Flurry, come here and take my dictation, I will write a letter to Curly.”

I have to do what Zorro says, because he is the Alpha male (that cannot read and write). Here is the letter:

“You are Warned!!!

Curly, It has come to our attention that your house is overrun by varmints of many types. I am reminding you that a dog’s mandate is to keep their human family safe and free from intruders and pests and you are miserably failing in those respects, lowering the standards of the street and exposing your neighbors to falling property values, disease, pollution, loss of garden plants and potential attacks by varmints. Start doing your doggy duty and chase away the pests or action will be taken!!!! You are watched by the dogs in Doggy Heaven.

I asked Zorro what action he would take against Curly, but he did not answer, just told me to mail the letter in order to protect Master’s and Mistress’ property value on Earth. Zorro is obsessed with property values.